life hereafter

random musings from a wannabe economist

I received a letter in the mail today informing me that “It’s Your Turn!” I am summoned to appear before the Honorable C. Darnell Jones, II at the Court of Common Pleas on July 31st.

This. Should. Be. Interesting.

This was quite the weekend for injuries.

1) Friday after work one of The Firm’s partners had a few people over for some volleyball and swimming. Now, I am not very good at volleyball and my general strategy is to make sure that if the ball comes near me, I send it away as quickly as possible. How I accomplish that is through a series of flailing arms and hands. On one particular volley heading my way I tried to hit the ball open palmed. Unfortunately the angle the ball and my hand were at ensured that the ball would only hit my left ring finger. The result was a jammed swollen finger and some broken blood vessels. No big deal, just a bit painful.

2)  This morning I went for a ‘training ride’ with a few people who will be doing the MS 150 with me in September.  While riding on Main Street I managed to get myself into an accident. I was riding behind my roommate who was riding behind a black car. The black car decided to turn right, into a parking lot, without using any signals or providing any notice. This caused my roommate to brake quickly and veer right. In order to avoid hitting him I tried to brake quickly and go around the car on the left. Unfortunately the woman driving the car saw my roommate in her line of sight and decided to stop very short. This did not provide me with enough reaction time to move more quickly to the left and I crashed into the back of her car. My hand was caught between my bike and her trunk, my front wheel scraped along the rear bumper of her car. As she calls out “Are you okay?,” I screamed back, “just fine thank you!” Later I realized that I banged up my right hand pretty badly, but it was really only superficial.

3) Waiting at a stop light I didn’t unclip from my pedals fast enough and I fell on my right side. Right in the middle of the street. If you were in a car at the intersection of Kelly Drive and Calumet Ave you probably had yourself a good laugh.

With the amount of klutzy things I manage to do it is a wonder that I haven’t managed to break anything in twenty years.

On Monday’s episode of The Colbert Report on Hulu, there was an author promoting her new book This Land is Their Land. The book’s premise is that the gap between the wealthy and the poor is growing wider. This got me to thinking… “Hey, I need to come up with an idea to make me extremely wealthy!” The goal here is to make certain that I never ever have to work again. Ever.
A few ideas:

• Write a book about my family and call it fiction (could be a best seller)
• Write a book about how to write books
• Sell a kit that teaches you to sell a kit that will make you rich quick
• Wait outside of bars in Manayunk and sell drunk college kids greasy food.
• Develop an herbal product (doesn’t matter what) and promote it on QVC: “The cure for _____!“
• A device which folds your clean laundry for you. [patent pending]
• Save a few pennies here and there until I manage to amass $1 million; die the next day…

As you can see, I need to give this a good bit more thought…

I just got a set of bills (three) from at&t amounting to $389 (including new fees, termination fees, double billing) for my cell phone. wtf mate. Without going into any detail what-so-ever, after 55:36 on the phone I was able to get all the double billing removed, the term fee waived and the activation fees canceled. Unfortunately none of this will be reflected on these bills until the next cycle which means I have to find some way to justify these expenses when the hit my amex! That should be a blast.

What a way to welcome a new customer. I knew I was making a bad decision.

I purchased a new BPA free nalgene bottle this past Sunday in my effort to cleanse my body of all things unnatural… okay all joking aside, I just did not want to be told I have cancer one day because I drank water with plastic bits in it…

This new bottle has a nice little label on the side which tells you how many ounces of water you should drink every day! How clever.

I have this pair of thick black rimmed glasses I wear on occasion. Mostly on the weekends and at night. While shopping today I realized that these glasses reduce my peripheral vision by at least 30 degrees. While I walked through the store, I bumped into all kinds of people and objects. It was sad. I felt like a Mr. Magoo, except I could see what was in my direct line of sight. It would actually look quite funny to a third-party observer, but to everyone who I managed to bump into I probably just looked like some insane kid.

Video Killed the Radio Star by The Wrong Trousers

check it