hotel ergs

I found an erg (rowing machine) at the hotel I am staying at in Chicago. So, I of course had to try and and find out just how bad I have become over the past few years. I’m pretty, bad but not awful. Let’s just say I’m not making the first boat.

However, one of my favorite things about going to gyms which have ergs is watching other people try and use them. It’s kind of like a car crash, you don’t want to look because it is so awful, but you do anyway. Honestly, it’s hilarious. Everyone tries to muscle it within the first ten strokes. Big dudes go up to the thing, pull the wind resistance at ten (the highest) and pull as hard as they can for two or three strokes, then realize it’s harder than I am making it look and next thing you know, their split is a minute higher than mine. Not to mention the fact that their arms are all over the place, practically hitting their legs as they try and come back up to the catch.

Ahhh, if you understood half of what I said, than you were probably a rower at some point. If not, please stay away from the ergs in hotel gyms. It just makes you look pretty silly.

P.S. I pulled a 1:59 split on a 1k piece. Only 19 seconds off senior year of college.

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detroit city

I spent the past few days in and around the wondrous city known as Detroit. Or as the French call it, Détroit [det wa!] This was one of the many fact’s I learned about five minutes after I arrived at my hotel and was held hostage in an elevator. A clearly intoxicated man, who was obviously very proud of his city managed to trap me on my ride up to the ninth floor of the The Westin. The conversation started off innocently enough, exchanged names and fist pounds. Next he asked where I was from, presumably so I could return the favor and learn that he was from Detroit, and a huge Red Wings fan. He then proceeded to ramble off many facts about the city. About thirty seconds into the ride, the elevator reached my room and I made to get off. At this point he puts is arm out across the elevator doors to stop me from leaving. He then puts his hand on the door so that it stayed open. The facts did not stop. At this point I was trying to figure out how to click the “Emergency Call” button on my phone without him noticing. Then, out of nowhere he steps aside and I get off the elevator. He later screamed “I hope you enjoy your cheese steaks at Le Bec Fin!” as I scurried to my room.

Every conversation with the residents of this fine American (barely) city inevitably made it’s way to the “big three.” I heard stories of people reciving threats for buying non-“American” cars. They referred to “foreign” cars as if they were illegal aliens in this country, attepting to take it over and steal their jobs. I was truly sad indeed.

Wednesday night, my colleagues and I attempt to have a “night on the town.” We head into GreekTown, have a great dinner at Fishbone’s. I recommend the Alligator Bites. We later go to the GreekTown casino and give it some of our money. The highlight of the evening was a tour of the GM Tower (or Ren Center). The building was quite impressive and had a lovely view of Windsor, Ontario. After this fine evening we head back to our parking garage to find that the car lights were left on, and the car would not start. Fantastic. That is exactly the situation you want to be in at 10pm, in a parking garage, in downtown Detroit. The terrible thing, was about four hours earlier as we were leaving the car I asked my colleague who drove if the lights would turn off themselves. “Sure,” he says. I believe I gave him the look of death at this point.

After asking a few folks if they had jumper cables to no avail, someone came up to us and said that his “friend” would jump-start our car for $30. Uh. No thanks. After much digging I find the number for Budget Roadside Assistance. Well, the number was for the roadside assistance in another state, however the guy on the other end was kind enough to give us the number for Michigan. (I am feeling real warm and fuzzy at this point.) My colleague calls the number and we manage to get a tow truck dispatched, ETA of about 35 minutes. At this point I get the urge to just try and start the car one more time. Lo and behold, it starts after about five seconds!

Whew.

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bottled water part duex

Today I found an interesting little application called xtra normal. Check out a video rendering of the bottled water post below.

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advertisements for water

Do we really need to advertise water? I mean, you can pretty much get it from everything, including your kitchen sink. Isn’t that enough?

I get why they would advertise the Brita or Pur systems, as those purify the water coming out of the tap. However, water in a bottle. How often does someone really seek out a particular brand of bottled water?! “Oh man, I could really go for a Nestle Pure Life right now! Eww… Dasani…”

Get over yourself.

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fall back, spring forward

I was just thinking, seeing as this is “change the clocks to screw me up weekend” the old mnemonic “Fall back, Spring forward” dosn’t really apply anymore due to our wonderful Congress which as seen fit to move the day you switch the clocks forward by three weeks.

Now, we switch in Winter. “Fall back, Winter… damn it’s cold!” dosn’t work as well.

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letters to strangers

Dear American Express,

Thank you ever so much for sending me a $15 off coupon to a restaurant which is located 421 miles from me. This is greatly appreciated, and I will file it under the appropriate category, which is T for Trash.

Perhaps you should save some of that marketing budget, I hear times are tough…

Sincerely,

Confused & Annoyed

Dear Woman who is too afraid to ride her bike in the street but does so anyway,

Please. For the love of all that is holy, do not ride your bike in the street if you are afraid of cars. As you nervously look back, you turn your handle bars into on-coming traffic which causes you to freak out further and overcompensate to the other side. When I don’t know what you are going to do, I get scared and steer my 2 ton car away from you and into the mac truck coming down the other lane.

Love,

Narrowly averted a major lawsuit.

Dear Applebees,

No I do not want your dirty Marisou wine and LaBatt Blue beer, so stop asking me that the second I sit down. I don’t know what kind of new marketing ploy this is, but do people seriously response like, “Oh why yes, I wasn’t thinking of getting either of those things, but since you asked… I’ll take both!”

All the best,

See American Express above

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microsoft’s future

check out the future : Office 2019

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