ideas

On Monday’s episode of The Colbert Report on Hulu, there was an author promoting her new book This Land is Their Land. The book’s premise is that the gap between the wealthy and the poor is growing wider. This got me to thinking… “Hey, I need to come up with an idea to make me extremely wealthy!” The goal here is to make certain that I never ever have to work again. Ever.
A few ideas:

  • Write a book about my family and call it fiction (could be a best seller)
  • Write a book about how to write books
  • Sell a kit that teaches you to sell a kit that will make you rich quick
  • Wait outside of bars in Manayunk and sell drunk college kids greasy food.
  • Develop an herbal product (doesn’t matter what) and promote it on QVC: “The cure for _____!
  • A device which folds your clean laundry for you. [patent pending]
  • Save a few pennies here and there until I manage to amass $1 million; die the next day…

As you can see, I need to give this a good bit more thought…

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at&t, $#*%!

I just got a set of bills (three) from at&t amounting to $389 (including new fees, termination fees, double billing) for my cell phone. wtf mate. Without going into any detail what-so-ever, after 55:36 on the phone I was able to get all the double billing removed, the term fee waived and the activation fees canceled. Unfortunately none of this will be reflected on these bills until the next cycle which means I have to find some way to justify these expenses when the hit my amex! That should be a blast.

What a way to welcome a new customer. I knew I was making a bad decision.

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bpa free!

nalgene

I purchased a new BPA free nalgene bottle this past Sunday in my effort to cleanse my body of all things unnatural… okay all joking aside, I just did not want to be told I have cancer one day because I drank water with plastic bits in it…

This new bottle has a nice little label on the side which tells you how many ounces of water you should drink every day! How clever.

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glasses

I have this pair of thick black rimmed glasses I wear on occasion. Mostly on the weekends and at night. While shopping today I realized that these glasses reduce my peripheral vision by at least 30 degrees. While I walked through the store, I bumped into all kinds of people and objects. It was sad. I felt like a Mr. Magoo, except I could see what was in my direct line of sight. It would actually look quite funny to a third-party observer, but to everyone who I managed to bump into I probably just looked like some insane kid.

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the wrong trousers

Video Killed the Radio Star by The Wrong Trousers

check it

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ants. gross.

I woke up Saturday morning to find my entire kitchen floor covered in ants. I noticed this as I was stepping out of the kitchen, which means I was walking all over them when I was in the kitchen. I broke out the vacuum cleaner and picked them all up. Next I ran to the supermarket and debating which type of raid ant trap killer thing would work the best. Did I want the one with “two kinds of food ants like” or the one that “killed the nest.” In the end I purchased both products figuring some ants would go in one and some in the other. In reality this was probably just a big waste of money.

Now I have to let the things do their job, which means letting the ants crawl all over everything till they stop moving. I hate living on the first floor.

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humanity

Have you ever felt too powerful as a species?

This morning as I grabbed a spider and flushed it down the toilet, I let out a bit of a maniacal laugh…

Eh.

Just wait till some little one celled organism makes me feel sick as a dog. That should get me off my high horse.

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