Last night I decided that I would go to my favorite store, the Supermarket. I capitalize Supermarket, because it is worth of such a designation.

Anyway, after a good 45 minutes of deciding what I wanted to eat over the course of the next week, I took my cart full of food-stuffs and headed to the self checkout line. Upon entering the line, I scanned my ClubFresh card (because only suckers pay full price), and proceeded to scan and weigh my items. After I scanned the last item I reached for my wallet and my heart stopped. Apparently my wallet was not in my right back pocket, left back pocket, front right pocket, left front pocket or right back pocket (I checked again just to be sure.) I then sheepishly went over to the 16 year old cashier supervisor and stated that “I am a stupid idiot and forgot my wallet in my car (a lie). If she didn’t mind, could I put my groceries by her and run out to my car and retrieve my wallet?” She replied with ever so slight a glance at me, “…Yeah.”

At this point I throw (literally) all of my groceries back in the cart, run out to my car, speed home, run into the apartment, announce my stupidity to the roommate, grab said wallet, run back out to the car, speed back and run back into the store. I then loaded all the groceries back onto the machine, swiped my Amex Blue card and went about my merry day.

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