life hereafter

I have this pair of thick black rimmed glasses I wear on occasion. Mostly on the weekends and at night. While shopping today I realized that these glasses reduce my peripheral vision by at least 30 degrees. While I walked through the store, I bumped into all kinds of people and objects. It was sad. I felt like a Mr. Magoo, except I could see what was in my direct line of sight. It would actually look quite funny to a third-party observer, but to everyone who I managed to bump into I probably just looked like some insane kid.

Video Killed the Radio Star by The Wrong Trousers

check it

I woke up Saturday morning to find my entire kitchen floor covered in ants. I noticed this as I was stepping out of the kitchen, which means I was walking all over them when I was in the kitchen. I broke out the vacuum cleaner and picked them all up. Next I ran to the supermarket and debating which type of raid ant trap killer thing would work the best. Did I want the one with “two kinds of food ants like” or the one that “killed the nest.” In the end I purchased both products figuring some ants would go in one and some in the other. In reality this was probably just a big waste of money.

Now I have to let the things do their job, which means letting the ants crawl all over everything till they stop moving. I hate living on the first floor.

Have you ever felt too powerful as a species?

This morning as I grabbed a spider and flushed it down the toilet, I let out a bit of a maniacal laugh…

Eh.

Just wait till some little one celled organism makes me feel sick as a dog. That should get me off my high horse.

In less than 24 hours SEPTA has managed to piss me off twice. New record I think…

1) I rode SEPTA back from the bike race in Manayunk yesterday. A ride of less than one mile. It was hot and I just didn’t feel like human powering my way back. Well as soon as we get to the Ivy Ridge stop and some people get up to leave the conductor gets very angry. “This train don’t move till I say it moves. Where are ya’ll tickets?” What the heck man?! If I get to my stop before you collect my ticket, I win. Thats the rule. You don’t get to change the rules in the middle of the game. I reluctantly gave the guy my ticket, however the girls behind me ran off the train. He called after them asking if that “made their day?” To which they replied, “YES!”

2) The 5:37 train pulled into Suburban Station three cars short. You do the math. New rule; if you don’t have a seat on the train you shouldn’t have to pay for your ticket.

P.S. Another new rule: If you are too out of shape to climb the stairs to the train, thereby holding everyone behind you up as you pant and crawl. You should take a cab to work.

It’s hot out.

So after ordering a specialty paper, I received a normal confirmation email to my gmail account. What made this particular email hilarious was the Google Ad-word top entry was for Dunder Mifflin Paper.

Hilarious. I love that a fake company got the top Ad-word result.

So I’ve been good this past week. Lately I have found myself not wanting to ride once I get home from work. It’s hot and I’m tired. Not a good combination. The solution? Convince the roommate (or vice versa) that waking up early and riding before work is a good idea! So, 5:30 am wake up calls, brush of the teeth and hop onto the saddle.

Sadly, day three into this and I am already grounded by rain delays. You know, if you don’t do something new seven times in a row, it ruins the routine…